Fifty
by Celia25
Summary: They have remembered each other for years and craved for each other deeply. Although they were able to rebuild their lives, the memories of what they once shared have been haunting them for a long time. A story about two people reuniting in their fifties, with no memory that they already met before. A story about family secrets and revelations, forgiveness, love and second chances.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This story has been written for LoveFromOQ-2019 as a gift for Joym13**_

_**Special thanks to the talented BabyLawyerOQ for beta-reading this story and giving her feedback constantly.**_

_**I hope you all enjoy and tell me what you think!**_

* * *

Fifty.

Regina Mills just turned fifty and each time she thinks about it she realizes it's nothing like how she imagined it. In fact, she feels exactly the same and doesn't understand all the fuss everyone makes about reaching that moment in life.

She must be fifty, but she feels the same and all her life she thought reaching that milestone would be different. She's an intense woman, always has been, she's full of energy and life, she's strong, confident, has a fruitful professional life, and despite all she has endured, she can say she's happy. However, if at a certain point she has begun to look at herself in a particular way, it had been more about how other people expect her to be and their persistent reminders that she is, indeed, a fifty-year-old woman, than how she feels because of that.

Those '_You look amazing! You don't look like you just turned fifty, Regina'_, '_Do you still attend those spinning classes? Wow!'_ or her mother's '_Isn't that skirt too short for a fifty-year-old lady?' _make her think how other people expect her to fit their stereotype of the fifty-year-old woman. Why are people surprised that she still looks good and can perform a physically challenging discipline? Why can't she feel sexy enough to wear clothes that make her feel that way? She's never been someone to make her choices thinking about how they would look at the eyes of others. If she had, she would never have had a child out of wedlock, would she?

Yet, those remarks, along with other things, had made her realize that even feeling the same as always, she is a middle-aged woman and that fact has begun to stress her out.

Regina knew that at some point in her life she would begin perceiving things differently, but she didn't expect to suddenly face the shocking realization of mortality and a finite life. Actually, that's a fact everyone understands and accepts, but she never gave a second thought, at least not until she stopped to analyze the meaning behind someone's words at her birthday party.

'_For another fifty more years, Regina,' _she heard someone toast and only smiled and drank from her champagne glass. However, those words -whose clear intentions had been wishing her more years of life and not literally another fifty more- remained with her and didn't allow any sleep that night, or the nights that followed, and, after some basic math, she realized she had already lived more than what might be half of her lifetime. She became aware she had less time left because what are the odds that she gets to live a hundred years? Not likely. Besides, that's not what she wants. She wants to live intensely each day of what's left of her life. She doesn't want to reach that time in which disability, sickness, lack of abilities or oblivion rule her life.

So, after facing that fact, she began to understand that she might feel very much the same, even when she's certainly not. Time will continue passing, and she won't be getting any younger.

And while she thinks about the years that will come, she can't avoid taking a look back at the previous years. Those fifty years that have seen her grow physically, emotionally and professionally, the years that made her become the woman she is now; those days, nights, weeks and months that have witnessed the once young girl living under her mother's constant criticism turn into a self-confident and strong woman. She smiles at the memories those years brought her, at the goals she achieved, both in her personal and professional life. She can't evade, either, thinking about the people she lost over the years, those people that at some point were important to her but took another path for either reason and with those memories comes one of the things she regrets most in her life: not asking his name and not giving hers.

Sometimes she thinks she forgot him; on other occasions, she believes he was just a dream, a product of her imagination and desires. Those thoughts never last long, though, because as soon as she looks at her older son and spots those dimples along with his smile, she recalls that special night, and knows it was all real. And, even not knowing his name, she has lived for almost twenty-seven years with some reminders of him: her son, a soothing and tender voice with a sexy British accent, and the hazy memory of a lion tattoo.

* * *

Since Regina turned fifty, a month ago, and even if at the beginning she didn't feel the impact that being a year older entailed, some demons, insecurities, guilts and regrets from the past have gradually begun to unleash.

First, she has realized that rather than overthinking, she needs to be more spontaneous and try to get whatever opportunity life can bring her, with the awareness that it might be her last chance. Maybe later she won't have the energy or strength needed, or the opportunity will not be there for her to take. And this goes for everything in her life, it doesn't matter if it's about deciding to go on a trip, on a blind date (something she thinks unlikely at this stage of her life) or buy a new pair of shoes she doesn't need at all.

Next, it's the fact that soon her younger son, Henry, will be going to college. He is fifteen now, but in two years, he will leave, just as Roland, her older son, did and that day she'll have to deal with feelings of emptiness and loneliness. When Roland went to college, eight years ago, she had her husband and Henry with her and having to take care of a six year old and, in the meanwhile, balancing her role of mother and wife with that of a graphic designer working in one of the leading companies in the field, kept her busy enough that it had been impossible for her to feel lonely (which she certainly wasn't) because one of her sons had left already for college.

This time will be different, though. There's no husband, Daniel's dead, and both her sons no longer will be living with her. The older one is a twenty-six-year-old adult now, doesn't live with her, has a job, a girlfriend and a life, and, the younger will be by that time in college. She is very much aware that if she's lucky she'll get to have both of her boys for Thanksgiving or Christmas holidays, maybe even on both ...and that'll be it. So, she needs to be prepared to face an empty nest.

Finally, there's the issue that's been bothering her the most lately. Something that, although she never forgot completely and, instead, learned to live with it weighing over her shoulders and conscience, has come to her mind more often than not this last month. This situation has arisen feelings of longing (which she fails to understand because it even didn't last long to get used to it) and guilt she thought she overcame years ago.

She doesn't know why this issue returns to haunt her after almost twenty-seven years.

When she met this stranger, both had wanted something merely physical, and neither of them had any intention of complicating things with a relationship none of them wanted. In fact, she was getting out of a toxic one and this man was what she needed ...and he knew it.

_Your Majesty_ had been the way he referred to her because of a tattoo on one of her shoulder blades, and each time she heard this man calling her like that, she couldn't help a _thief_ come out of her lips, alluding clearly at the way they had met. And it had been like that all night long and the day that followed and the night after that: _Your Majesty_ …_thief_ ...laughter ...passion ...talk ...caresses ...drinks ...confessions ...tenderness ...sleep ...understanding ... always with the cruel awareness that whatever they had was destined to finish in some hours.

Their adventure lasted a whole weekend, but without doubt, it had been one of the best experiences of her life.

However, things didn't go as planned. She had only expected some fun and a good fuck. Something that could make her forget the circumstances she was going through at that time. She would never have guessed he would be so wonderful, tender, understanding and passionate that he'd find a place in her heart and memories throughout the years. She wouldn't have imagined, either, that they would have such good shot that she would have to live with a reminder of that night ...one which she'd been grateful for and that has made even more difficult to forget him.

Regina and Daniel had talked about it when things between them progressed and became serious, and Daniel had married her knowing the exact circumstances behind Roland's birth.

Daniel had willingly accepted to raise Roland as his own and never had brought up Roland's biological father for discussion, he even had insisted in adopting Roland not long after marrying Regina, and no difference had been ever made between Roland and Henry. To Daniel, Roland had been his son as much as Henry was, and somehow that had made things easier for Regina.

It never ceases to amaze Regina how she found support on a man that wasn't blood-related to her son, rather than in her own mother. Cora Mills had always been a controlling, selfish bitch, but she outdid herself when Regina found out she was pregnant and there was no boyfriend, fiancé, least of all husband, to father her son.

It seems Cora Mills' only concern was the way people would look at a single mother in the nineties because as soon as Daniel, a good catch, appeared in Regina's life and decided to raise Regina's son as his, Cora tried to get closer to Regina and pretend the years of rejection towards Regina and her son didn't happen. Mother of the year, indeed!

Regina and Daniel had decided not to tell Roland the truth about his biological father, at least not during Roland's early years. They thought it wouldn't make any difference to Roland. It wasn't as if Regina was able to reveal the identity of Roland's father. She had no clue about the identity of that man. In 1992, when they met, there were no cell phones, let alone social media, and the efforts she went through trying to find him had been unsuccessful. So, they both had thought it would do more harm than good, at least during Roland's childhood and, then, as a teen. They postponed that chat for later, time passed by, it seemed there was no ideal opportunity for breaking such news to their boy, Daniel and Regina continued rescheduling that conversation, until one day, four years ago, a heart attack took Daniel away from them, and Regina was left behind dealing with her husband's death and very few people to help her ease the weight of such big secret.

Still, she doesn't know why she has begun to think just now about the circumstances that led to Roland's birth and about a man whose name she doesn't even know and who she isn't certain would identify after all that time. Perhaps being fifty brought her some common sense? Maybe just now, at this stage of her life, she has the courage or the life experience to admit she (and Daniel) could have handled better the truth about Roland's biological father? Maybe having hit what might be half of her life has made her realize she needs to put things in order and tell Roland the truth, a truth that for Roland would bring more questions than answers because there are some she won't be able to respond, a truth that not only would affect Roland but also Henry.

So, after a month of going back and forth with these feelings, she realizes how wrong she'd been because, in fact, being fifty doesn't feel the same. It had brought things from the past she rather preferred would have remained just there.

And not knowing what to do and, with each day that passes, feeling her anxiety increase, she decides to book an appointment with Dr. Hopper, her psychiatrist and therapist, and one of the few people who knows her life from top to bottom, only to find out the man is retired. She gets to talk to him, though, she has his personal number, she has been a patient of his for years, and after some small talk, she gets a recommendation from him.

She looks forward to this appointment with Dr. Robin Locksley, strongly recommended by Dr. Hopper and that he pointed out he was sure she would like and feel totally comfortable with.

Little does she know, that appointment would change everything in her life and won't help her much ...at least not immediately and not in the way Regina or Dr. Hopper expect.

_**To be continued ...**_

* * *

_**Any thoughts? I'd love to know what you think!**_


	2. The first session

Dr. Robin Locksley watches the screen on his computer with absolute concentration. He wants to know in advance how many patients his new secretary has scheduled for this afternoon, and how prepared he needs to be to help them with their conflicts.

The fact that Mulan, his new secretary, has two weeks working with him doesn't worry him as much as knowing he didn't hire her because of her skills or experience in a similar position, but because of an emergency. His secretary had to go on maternity leave a month prior than planned, leaving him with very few options to fill that position.

He knows there are patients and …_patients_, and there are sessions that run smooth and, others, where real shit is addressed and he can't just say '_time is over, I'll see you next week'_ and go on with the next appointment. Therefore, his secretary has always understood the importance of avoiding two difficult cases on the same day or a difficult one and a new one, and he isn't sure Mulan is aware of this.

It's important to know what kind of sessions he might have ahead and not because he has something else to do and needs to finish earlier than usual or re-schedule one of those appointments due to an unexpected situation that got in the way. No, it's not that. He has no reason to hurry home after work, only to find an empty apartment. Definitely, that's not appealing.

Robin Locksley lives alone, he's divorced and has been that way more years than those he was married. His teen daughter, Raven, lives with his ex, in another city, in another country even. They both moved to Canada after his ex remarried. However, Raven comes to visit him twice or three times a year for long stays and those are the moments that light up his life most and the ones he looks forward so much.

Remembering his empty apartment, his failed marriage and his daughter, makes him recall why he chose to move all the way here from Europe, almost a decade ago. Yes, it had been to be near his girl, at least in the same continent, so that way it'd be easier for the two of them to spend vacations or holidays together without one of them having to be on a plane for endless seven or eight hours. He recognizes that had been the main reason behind his decision to move to another country, leaving his family and job behind, but choosing Storybrooke, Maine as the city to settle was due to a completely different reason.

It might sound ridiculous, absurd and even comical that a grown ass man's motivation to choose a city to move and begin again would be a woman. Moreover, one whose name he doesn't even know and whose legacy has been the remembrance of a memorable night of passion (which refuses to leave his mind despite the twenty-seven years that have passed since then), the clear image of a delicate crown tattoo in one of her shoulder blades and the delicious way she called him _thief _ as if she was trying to stretch out the beginning and the end of that word.

Shit, why did he begin thinking about her when he is supposed to receive his first patient of the afternoon in a few minutes? Well, he still has some minutes to fantasize about her, because that's what he has been doing since the day he realized she was gone, leaving nothing behind, not even her name. For him she has been his _Queen_, that's how he's been calling her in his head all these years at the lack of her real name.

Actually, being honest, he recognizes she was stuck in his head after their brief, yet intense, encounter, but then he moved on, got a job, got married, divorced, and somewhere in between -he can't tell exactly when- he realized he began thinking about her again. During the last decade, maybe a little more, it has become an obsession, one which has increased throughout the last year and he doesn't understand why (or doesn't want to find out) he is experiencing this in his mid-fifties.

Robin knows how memories work, the way in which the human brain processes information, and how, at one point in life, pleasurable, blissful and satisfying experiences are the ones that fill people's mind, regardless of the moment those events happen. However, he recognizes this isn't the case of what's happening to him.

He finds this fixation with her somewhat entertaining, and sometimes he notices it has become part of his routine. He enjoys thinking about what she might be doing while he performs his habitual activities and tries to fit the little he knows about her in it. As he gets ready for work, he thinks she might be getting ready for hers somewhere in this same city; when he passes by a school and watches teens being picked up by their parents, he wonders if she had any kids, as she confessed him she'd wanted, and he has found himself peeking among the parents hoping to see her if by any chance she'd be there. He speculates about what would her life is like and goes through endless possibilities. Will she be married? Will she be happy? How does she look like after all these years? Would he be able to recognize her if they cross paths again? Maybe they already had? How is she as a fifty-year-old woman? He has an image in his head of a twenty-two-year-old young woman that certainly made an impression on him, but after twenty-seven years he doesn't know if it's something closer to reality or a product of his imagination.

He sometimes steps into dangerous grounds and ventures into the _what-ifs_ of how things might have developed between them if he only would have insisted on giving his name or in requesting hers with more determination. He remembers well how they both agreed it would be better to keep their encounter in complete anonymity. It was supposed to be a one-time thing and both had been very honest about that; they both lived and had responsibilities in different places; she had just broken up with a boyfriend, _it's ...complicated_ were her words and she hadn't said more (oh! if he closes his eyes he can almost hear her!), he had been well aware he was the rebound, and, well, they connected and shared first what most couples wait some time for.

Robin isn't in love with this woman. He doesn't think possible to fall in love with someone he had only met once and from whom he knows nothing (or very little). Still, it doesn't matter to him ...because what harm does it make? Those fantasies he's been having for some time have been his driving force since he moved to this city where he still feels hopeful they might meet again.

However, although he loves thinking about her (it's a fascinating way of exercising his mind), he has work to do, and hard work, so he thinks it'd be wiser to focus on the screen on his monitor, neglected for some minutes, and check that list of patients once and for all.

...

Robin smiles when he sees the Wednesday's regulars: Zelena Greene and her self-centered view of life that has been responsible for the multiple failures in her love life; Ruby Lucas with low self-esteem issues that leads her to a promiscuous lifestyle in her mid-forties (well, he has understood this has been her lifestyle always, and it's difficult for her to learn another way, different than sex, to relate with people), and he knows it's not his job to look after her and prevent her from having random sex, but it is, indeed, to help her love herself so that she can learn sex isn't the only thing she has to offer; Leroy Grump, a man with anger management issues, whose sessions are tough because he comes for consultation at his wife's insistence and not because he acknowledges his problem.

He's surprised when he sees another name, not a regular, but someone he didn't think would return after the first session they had last week: Carelle Deville, a woman with a dark side and complete lack of empathy, a tough case and a challenge he would have preferred to see on a different day as Leroy. And, finally, he reaches the last name on his timetable: Regina Mills, a new patient.

He tries to remember if he has heard that name before, but it doesn't ring a bell, and just then he sees the entry that indicates she's been referred by Dr. Hopper and realizes she has been Dr. Hopper's former patient. He thinks it'd be best to talk to Dr. Hopper and check if he can take a look at the records he kept during his sessions with this woman. He needs some insight in advance, so if by any chance there's something he would need to be aware of he can be prepared and have an effective first session.

After talking to Dr. Hopper, he feels relieved to know this woman already overcame all the issues that would have made him worry. Dr. Hopper told him that Regina was not a complicated case; she might have been when she first came for a consultation and it was obvious she had a lot of issues that needed help. However, she had been able to remain stable for years without medication and the last time he saw her had been some years ago, when he focused his therapy on grief counselling to help her cope with the death of her husband, after nineteen years of marriage. No, there's no need to request Dr. Hopper's records.

The information Dr. Hopper shares with Robin makes him think the reason for her consultation might be the need to work on the guilt of finding another partner after almost two decades of marriage. He has seen these cases in his field of practice; it's something most people that have been involved in long term relationships experience as a result of the short period in which they've been able to rebuild their romantic life with someone else. It's like if they want to grab the new chance life is gifting them with, and not begin thinking things through and through because they don't want to risk that this second chance fades away just as the person they lost did. And that rapid pace in which they begin retaking their love life, sometimes makes them feel guilty and firmly believe they'll be criticized by others.

So, after having cleared his doubts about the afternoon he'll have ahead and knowing -at least- where he stands in regard with this Regina Mills, he instructs Mulan to tell his first patient of the afternoon, Ms. Greene, to come in.

...

The session goes as planned … well, almost. Zelena Greene is more responsive, it seems this Chad guy she's seeing is helping her; Ruby Lucas' session runs smooth; he knew how things would go with Leroy, it's very hard to make progress with a patient who doesn't understand the extent of their problems, so for the next session, Robin has requested that Leroy's wife, Astrid, be present and have another approach; the session with Carelle Deville is very demanding, from both sides, so he requests Mulan after their session is finished, to reschedule Carelle or Leroy, on different days, so that he doesn't have to deal with them both on the same day, and shakes his head knowing he should have checked that patient list before.

As he waits for his last patient to come in, his mind wanders to Regina Mills, and his speculations about the motive for her consultation. He doesn't know a thing about this Regina Mills, which, in fact, will be entering his office any moment now. His experience tells him the guilt due to recomposing her life would be most likely the scenario he will find and the circumstances he'll have to deal with during the session with her.

An hour later, he would admit to himself he'd never been more wrong in his life.

* * *

Being a psychiatrist and therapist for almost thirty years has taught him the importance of firsts impressions, mostly the one a therapist will build after seeing a patient for the first time and which is based mainly on his observation skills during the first five minutes. When a new patient steps into his office, most of the times that person is genuine. Therapy hasn't begun yet, people are relaxed as they walk towards the couch in his office to take a seat there, and years in the field has proven him right because that's the exact moment when he can read people best. He can tell if they are there willingly; if they're nervous (well, everyone on a first appointment is somehow, but he has learned the difference between a first-time appointment nervousness and one where it's the constant state of the patient); if they don't care; if they believe in him and in the help he can provide; if they have the strength to overcome whatever issues they have … That first impression is vital for him ...and it won't be different with Regina Mills.

So, when Regina Mills steps into his office for the first time, he begins his work even if he hasn't said a word different than "_Good afternoon"_, yet. The first thing he notices is that she's a very beautiful woman, classy, very well put together, she has nothing out of place. She definitely takes care of every detail regarding her personal appearance: her makeup, hair, accessories, outfit ...everything.

She's dressed nicely in a modern, kind of informal outfit, and because of the crimson briefcase she carries with her, it seems she must have come to the appointment directly from work. Her choice of outfit gives away that she works in something related to the creative process: publicity, marketing, photograph, visual arts, design, architecture ...and not something more traditional like law, accounting or, engineering. Either way, it seems she's an independent woman.

He observes delighted how fit she's for her age. The pair of pants she's wearing suits her perfectly and shows off the form of a toned, well taken care of ass. He feels like shit for checking out her rear, but he convinces himself it's part of the observation process which with he begins every first session, so if it's her ass what will help him with some insight about who Regina Mills is, there's no need to feel bad about it. She's wearing a top and a jacket, leaving a generous amount of cleavage exposed. He's no fucking fashion expert, but he sees a lot of women of her same age, and he can tell she's a modern woman with bold fashion choices, confident with her attributes, and by any means a shy one. The outfit she chose for that day is a very fitting one and proves she doesn't have anything to envy from a younger woman. If he didn't know she'd been married for almost twenty years, he would have thought she was younger than what she might be because of the way she looks. However, she has some little wrinkles that show up at the edge of her mouth, as she smiles to greet him, and around her eyes as she slightly closes them in an effort to look at something (or someone) that has caught her attention. But, those signs rather than taking away her beauty, make her look more appealing because he finds it to be the perfect balance between maturity and freshness.

She's certainly a woman that takes good care of herself and must have healthy habits regarding food, physical activity, and sleep. She's educated, well mannered, well spoken (from the little he has heard her say, that's mostly _Dr. Locksley, good afternoon_), clearly, she comes from a wealthy family, and has had a privileged education.

She doesn't seem nervous or anxious; she looks at him in the eyes which leads him to think she's an honest woman.

She looks familiar to him, though. She reminds him of someone, but he doesn't get to identify to whom or to place her somewhere it might have been probable to meet her.

College? No. He studied abroad and even if he spent some time in this same city twenty-seven years ago, he returned home after a short time. And even if somewhat they would have coincided in college, she seems some years younger than him, so it wouldn't have been likely to share classes with someone who was beginning their studies when he was about to graduate. Work? She doesn't seem the type of person dedicated to the medical field, and strangely Dr. Hopper hadn't brought that up; so, no, not probable. A friend of a friend of a friend? Possibly. Over the decade he has lived here he had frequented some friends, and friends of those friends, so yes they might have met briefly in some of those meetings.

So, after having made a mental image of who he thinks Regina Mills is he greets her properly, extending his hand to shake hands with her, "Glad to meet you, Regina. Please, have a seat, make yourself comfortable. Have you already filled your information in the form my secretary gave you?", he observes how she nods her head in agreement and continues, "Okay, good. I requested you to fill your own information because I won't be checking Dr. Hopper's notes. So, tell me why are you here? How can I be of help?"

Robin can't help but notice how his words startled her, and he doesn't know what he might have done or said to make her react like that. He takes a look at the chart she just filled and continues as if he hadn't caught her reaction seconds ago.

"Well, I see you are a widow, have been for some time, you have two children, you just turned fifty, oh! congratulations," he smiles at her and she smiles back at him, and there's when he thinks again about how familiar this woman is to him. That smile, he has seen that smile before ...but where?

He makes an effort and takes those thoughts away from his head. He's working; he should focus on his patient and don't get distracted by something that might not mean anything, maybe she was a face on an advertisement and that's why her face and her smile (yes, that smile particularly, and those big brown eyes, also) look so familiar to him. He decides to check that later, though, in the calm of his apartment and go through his old pictures. He will go backward in time trying to find out why does he think he has met her before.

"Regina, why don't you start by telling me how are you feeling lately?"

He watches her swallow, then bite the edges of her lips with her teeth which makes her mouth scrunch to one side in a gesture that he finds delicious. He knows she might be ordering her ideas, trying to voice her issues the best way.

After some seconds, he hears her talk "I have a situation, and ...hmm ...well, I don't pretend you to tell me what to do. I've attended years of therapy sessions. I think you are aware of that, I understand this doesn't work that way, but this ..._problem_ has been stressing me out I guess it's been already a month, and even if I know what I need to do, I feel overwhelmed and I feel I'm about to lose control and freak out any moment. I've had some issues in the past, nothing too serious: low self-esteem, anxiety, postpartum depression, depression after the loss of my husband, but now the anxiety is increasing. I can feel it most in the mornings when I wake up with the sensation of wanting to throw up, and I walk in circles in my room for some time as I think about the problem I have, and the solution, that's actually worse than the problem. And, there's the guilt also ...I ...I'm feeling guilty for having kept something from someone very important to me for a long time."

Robin looks at her; he's seated in an armchair facing her, with a notebook in one of his hands, and a pen in the other, taking notes from time to time. And there's something he hasn't noted before. She's sassy, direct and is getting anxious as soon as she addressed the problem that seems to be complicating her life.

"I see. You are somatizing. Has this happened before? Or, is this the first time the anxiety reaches this point?" he asks, without taking his eyes away from her.

"I've had anxiety before, nothing I couldn't overcome with therapy, but with my husband's death, I did feel the same. I ...hmm ...Dr. Hopper prescribed me some medication, then," she answers, and at that moment he observes she takes her eyes away from him and looks down, to where her hands are and begins rubbing them over and over. She definitely is nervous.

"Regina, look at me; there's nothing wrong with taking medication, and that's exactly what I'll prescribe now. We need a little help with the anxiety. I don't want it to reach higher levels. Let's try to get the anxiety under control, so we can deal with the rest later. It seems you have a pretty complicated problem, don't you? Would you feel comfortable sharing it with me? Would you think it would help?"

He watches her hesitate, opening her mouth as if she's about to talk only to stop, and then after some seconds, where the only sound in the room is the rhythmic _tic-tac_ of the stylish clock on one of the walls, she says, "It's ...complicated. I need you to help me handle my anxiety. It has begun to temper with my life and job. My son will find out soon if I don't control this and I ...I don't want that."

It's the way she said the words '_it's ...complicated'_ what startles him. It's a particular way he has heard before, with a long pause between the two words and a low voice, almost a whisper. He knows where he heard those words, and who said them to him. It doesn't matter if it was twenty-seven years ago, he still would recognize the way those words sound leaving her mouth.

Shit! This can't be possible. Maybe it's all in his mind. Yes, that's it! It's his mind concocting and playing tricks with him. How many women around the age of his Queen would say those words in a similar way? He bets she's not the only one. So, he makes a supernatural effort to recompose himself after the sensation those two words left in him and continues.

"Your son? The information you filled in indicates you have two children, however, you haven't indicated gender nor age."

"Oh, I have two sons, but only one lives with me. The older one finished college some years ago and already got a job. He lives on his own and comes to visit from time to time."

"Hmm …I see …I would need the age of your boys."

"Twenty-six and fifteen."

He completes the information she failed to fill in the chart, pretending the digit _twenty-six_ didn't sound odd or -at least- a curious coincidence, and without taking his eyes away from the sheet, he says "Maybe this problem has to do with the fact that your younger son will be leaving soon? I guess you two are the only ones in the house and it's hard to face an empty nest, Regina."

"This problem and all this anxiety I'm feeling ...well, it's not about my sons leaving ...this situation I have has to do with my sons, yes, but I'm not sure I want to talk about it ...yet, Dr. Locksley," she answers.

"Please, call me Robin. I want you to feel comfortable while I treat you and a first name basis helps. Believe me. It does."

The session runs smoothly after that ...well as smooth as a first session could be when he analyzes each of her words and gestures thoroughly and delves into his memories of twenty-seven years ago to determine to what extent this woman could be the woman he calls his Queen. However, he notices it's him the one doing most of the talking and asking Regina for some details than Regina talking or opening up about her issues. He knows this is something that should be expected for a first session, so it doesn't worry him much.

Still, he can say there's something off with her since the minute he greeted her. He feels there's a barrier between them, one she puts every time she says '_I know how this works'_, '_It's not about that'_ or '_I don't want to address that topic'_ and he can't get through it.

The hour passes by very quickly, and when she is about to leave, even after having said goodbye and the regular _see you next week_ he doesn't fail to add when his patients are crossing the threshold of his office, she surprises him.

He's standing by the door, waiting for her to step out when he watches her turn around and out of nowhere say, "Er …Robin …I ...I want to ask you something. Hmm …have ...have we met before?"

His heart stops and he gulps trying to buy some time to think what to say next; there's no chance that he would answer with the truth because answering with a '_yes, I think we had sex years ago'_ to a patient would only make him earn a well-deserved slap in the face and a complaint to the board. So, not coming up with a better answer he lies, "I don't think so, Regina. I doubt I'd ever forget meeting you."

* * *

**_To be continued ..._**


	3. The Queen & the Man with the Lion Tatoo

_**A/N: Thanks to BabyLawyerOQ for beta reading this chapter, as well.**_

* * *

She curses herself for the moment in which seeking professional help crossed her mind and seemed a good idea. Not only it hasn't helped a bit, but also things have gotten worse since she left Dr. Locksley's office last Wednesday.

A week has passed since then, Regina is still anxious, and the medication Dr. Locksley prescribed her hasn't helped at all. Well, being honest it might have helped if she had only one problem to deal with at the same time, but since now she has another motive to feel anxious, she suspects those meds aren't enough to do the job.

She has endured the whole week feeling like shit, and she doesn't know if she should attend this second session with Dr. Locksley …er …Robin or just call to cancel. That man has shaken up her entire inner world, memories, feelings ...everything just after she heard his voice with that accent which reminded her of a night twenty-seven years ago.

She thinks she's overreacting, but still, the anxiety refuses to leave. So, she decides to analyze facts, real ones, and she finds that besides that accent and those dimples …Oh! and those eyes, yes, those blue eyes, she has no evidence that might lead her to think her shrink is the man she had a fling with more than two (almost three) decades ago and, worse, the biological father of her son. How many people living in this same town have a British accent, dimples and deep blue eyes? Hundreds.

Also, there's the fact that he, himself, confirmed not remembering her. Shit, how mortifying! And, actually, what are the odds that she gets to come together with a man she knew from one only time and who lived in another continent? Zero, she answers herself.

So, there's nothing to worry aside from having made a fool of herself asking him if he thought they had met before, which clearly he denied, or didn't remember at all.

She feels embarrassed for having had that theory stuck in her head for a week, and for making her son worry with her stress. In fact, that's exactly what has made her examine the facts objectively, and realize there's no reasonable evidence supporting the theory that has been torturing her for seven long days.

Henry's '_mom are you feeling well? should I call Roland?'_ has made her feel worse. She should be looking after her son and not the other way around, and that's the reason that makes her want to attend a second appointment with the man she has mistaken for a former one night stand.

...

Regina arrives ten minutes in advance of her second appointment with Dr. Robin Locksley and has time to clear her head while she waits for her turn, and when she stands up to walk towards his office, she has already shaken off the thoughts that have been bothering her for a week. If she didn't know any better, she wouldn't think she sheltered those absurd ideas that long, making her anxious during the days and keeping her awake during the nights. She even feels stupid each time she remembers her concerns during that time, and she's sure people can see her blushing because of the ridiculousness of her suspicions. Anyway, blush or no blush, absurd thoughts or not, she finds herself walking to an office for a second session with a man that for whatever reason has been in her head for more time than what she would have thought when she first decided to seek for help.

As she walks inside to take a seat in the very same couch she rubbed her hands out of nervousness, and that witnessed her reaction when she thought she recognized a familiar voice (and accent ...yes, the accent), she evaluates the ins and outs of opening up to him.

On one hand, if there's someone that can be on her side is this man, she's paying him, it's his job, one that Dr. Hopper said he is very skilled at, even if -up to now- it doesn't seem he knows what he's doing. Maybe she just needs to give him a chance. On the other hand, she doesn't feel like opening up yet, she needs to build a relationship based on trust with her therapist, and she still isn't there. She hopes she can get there soon, but it won't be today.

She sits on the couch across of him, and this time she feels more relaxed. Having analyzed real facts over mere suppositions was a good thing to do, she reminds herself and sighs in relief, and Robin must notice something different in her because of the '_I see you are better, Regina'_ that he says just after greeting her. And yes, she feels better, yet not because of him, but merely because she decided to assess things differently. She smiles satisfied at that thought and even lets a little giggle escape.

The session runs smoothly; she's relaxed; she isn't afraid anymore that he might recognize her because it's clear now that they don't know each other and have never met before. She looks at him in another way; she finds him attractive, very good looking, and sexy; she's always had a thing for men with hair with silver tones, and her doctor is no exception, so when he puts on his reading glasses to check some information on her chart, she finds him more attractive even. She thinks how worried or uneasy or uncomfortable (or all of the above) she must have been on their first session because she didn't notice him wearing those glasses and he definitely must have put them on when he went through her form, something he did more than once, actually. So, during this session, she finds different reasons (and more pleasing ones) to be distracted than those that avoided her to focus during last week's appointment.

And, even if she doesn't get to talk about the exact things that are bothering her lately, she is surprised about the amount of information she, willingly and easily, shares with him.

She doesn't imagine that the sensation of confidence and relief of having disregarded the absurd idea that this man is his father's son and former lover, will soon disappear.

* * *

The next weeks pass by differently for Robin and Regina.

Regina's life is almost as always. She splits her time among her weekly therapy sessions, trying to spend some time with her sons, her daily routine at the gym (she won't skip a day if it is the last thing she does), and the demanding project she's working on. Changing the graphic line of an important company is a big deal, and she needs to meet with different people involved in the process: web designers, marketing advisors, digital illustrators, her client, her staff …

However, although her activities are the same as they had been during the last years, there's one thing that's different: a sudden and increasing interest on Wednesday's sessions with Dr. Locksley. Yes, she noticed it a while ago, after the second or third session with him. She attends those sessions happy, and she has yet to discover if that eagerness has to do with the help she is beginning to receive or because of the feelings she has started to develop towards that man.

And even though if by her second session she had already disregarded the thoughts that she might have spent the weekend with this man twenty-seven years ago and that he might be her son's father sometimes those ideas come back all of a sudden to plague her mind and test her, triggered by random circumstances. When he speaks some expressions sound so familiar to her. The same happens when he shows those dimples every time his smile appears in his face, and she sees the resemblance with her son, only to think seconds later that a pair of dimples is exactly the same in everyone, isn't it? And, with the way she feels his expressive blue eyes seeing through her right into her soul, rather than looking at her.

She still doesn't know if the moments in which she thinks he's the man she sought for months and the one she has been thinking about more time than she'd want to admit are provoked by real memories. Is it solely the desire to replace a man she once met and whose company she enjoyed far too much (well, being honest she enjoyed more than his company ...er ... his hands, mouth, tongue …and other parts of him), with the man she has in front of her every Wednesday afternoon for the last six weeks? A man of flesh and blood replacing a ghost of the past, a memory ...maybe that's what's behind the feelings she has been experiencing for some time now, and the reason she hasn't been able yet to trust him with her _problem_.

In fact, her _problem_ seems to be the tip of the iceberg and not the only issue that needs to be addressed, and ...well, Regina is a human being after all, and has decided to begin discussing the easier topics, leaving the real shit for later. However, she knows there's only one way out of her problem, and she needs to be prepared for Roland's reaction whenever she decides to tell him the truth, and for Henry's whenever he finds out.

Therefore, during these six weeks, she had been able to open up about several circumstances of her life. She shared with him how she struggled with the sensation of abandonment she felt when her father died during her teen years, leaving her alone to deal with her mother. She allowed some tears to fall, remembering the sudden loss of her husband, and the fact that she became a widow, in a blink of an eye, with a son in college and a pre-teen in the house, each of them dealing differently with the loss of a husband and father. But, she failed to mention Roland's biological father.

Nonetheless, all along with her confessions and sufferings from the past, these six weeks had also been about anticipation, excitement, and, why not, soft smiles, subtle...very subtle flirting (they are doctor and patient, after all), accidental touches, nice chats that sometimes lasted far more than the official fifty minutes of her session (those are the perks of being the last patient on schedule).

Six weeks, six sessions and six hours in his company. She tells herself it's not much time to develop anything for anyone and that, definitely, she has confused things for what they aren't. She is well aware she knows nothing about this man, he most likely is happily married, and she understands there's no point in encouraging any interest in him. It's her desire of wanting and needing to give some answers to her son, and it happens that this man and the father of her son just have some points of coincidence.

That's all.

...

Things for Robin are a little different. His life these last weeks has been far from ordinary.

Each Wednesday afternoon after finishing the session with Regina, he watches her leave. He stands by his door, lingers there until she's gone. He waits until he sees her disappear into the elevator after the doors close, expecting when she might startle him anytime with one of her questions, just as she did on their first session. But, there's no need to wait for a question from her to be surprised because he's already astonished by her and there's no point in denying that he has met her before. He's more convinced each time their session ends, after an hour listening and watching her, that she's the woman that has been in his dreams for the last twenty-seven years: his Queen.

And after every single session he's had with her, he hurries home (it seems now he does have a reason to leave quickly from work) and goes to check his early nineties photographic albums with the expectation of confirming his suspicions. He thinks someone that was with him that night must have taken a picture of her ...or of both of them.

He was part of a huge group of people, at least a party of fifteen: six were his friends and the rest, some people they met during the last part of their two-month journey through different countries. They all had decided to go to this bar, _The Rabbit Hole_, Robin and his friends were returning home that Tuesday, and it was a Friday night, the night before Halloween, that he remembers well. It was the perfect chance for a farewell, to say goodbye to the people they had met during that vacation or adventure trip, or whatever they wanted to call it. The bar was crowded. It was one of the most popular spots in Maine; someone had said it had everything: good music, nice drinks, a fancy decoration ...and her. It had had everything, indeed.

Each time he goes through those pictures, he thinks about the circumstances of their encounter and tries to chase away those memories because he needs all his concentration and strength to examine them and has found out it's an exhausting task. And, in fact, it is because rather than albums labelled and organized by the date, he has random pictures in several boxes somewhere in a dusty room in his apartment that serves as storage for useless stuff.

He has to search for those boxes and check every single one of them and all their contents just to figure out if the pictures match those of 1992, the year they met.

He's trying to find an answer to an encounter that happened when there were no cell phones with integrated cameras (well, actually no cell phones at all), and no social media to post what life was like. He and his friends had cameras, they were on a trip that began in South America, so it was kind of an exotic destination, one neither of them was going to return soon, so they had wanted to capture each moment of their adventure. They had taken a lot of pictures, but he saw none until after his return home. There were no digital cameras, so they had to develop the pictures, take them to the photo lab, pick them up, and when finally he had the pictures with him the locations were all mixed up ...shit! He finds that some of the pictures have, in one of its sides, the date printed, others have a little brief on the back side, but still, with that information, it's very tiring and he has to deal with feelings of disappointment each time he closes a box with no clues about her.

For weeks he has gone through these shitty boxes with pictures and pictures of years long gone; of old friends, some of them still good friends, others no longer around; of places that might be different now or don't exist anymore, like _The Rabbit Hole_ ...but, there's no trace of her.

He doesn't know yet, but he's looking in the wrong place. He doesn't imagine he has always had the exact place that would help reveal this mystery in front of his eyes …every Wednesday afternoon. Let alone, that another set of pictures, not so far away from where he is now, will be the ones bringing him a revelation that would change his entire life.

* * *

Robin checks his watch eagerly and knows she's late. It's odd. She's annoyingly timely, but today something must have gotten in the way because she's late ...and he's desperate to see her. This will be the seventh Wednesday on a row she has come to a session with him and with each week that passes, the time between sessions has become excruciatingly long for him, and this additional five minutes he has already waited for her, aren't helping at all.

His thoughts are interrupted by his secretary announcing Ms. Mills, and he sighs in relief and anticipation.

They have worked an interesting dynamic: she enters his office, greets him and heads to the couch, where she sits. He remains seated at his desk as he grabs his notebook, pen, and her file, while they make small talk and those five or ten minutes have become very useful to develop some trust, to get to know something about each other, something different from Regina's anxiety and past. And well, maybe he knows more about her than what she knows about him and his life, but he's the doctor, and he's the one who gets to ask the personal questions, and not her.

So, Robin listens to her as she talks about random stuff: the traffic, the meeting she had earlier, or the weather ...anything. But, this particular Wednesday is different. First, it is that Regina is late; then, he notes she seems agitated, and it's not because of the weather, it's spring, middle April, so no, not warm weather yet, but since she stepped into his office and after her '_Sorry, I'm late'_ apologizing for her lateness, he noticed she's unsettled and definitely not comfortable. She must have been in a hurry and entered the building walking quickly to arrive in time (or at least not too late) because it seems she's feeling hot with her jacket on for the way she puffs delicately in a failed attempt to freshen up (something that he finds delightful). She's carrying that crimson briefcase, yes, the one that she hasn't failed to bring with her to every session, which this time seems to be heavier than usual. So, as they both begin talking about everything and nothing, in particular, he watches her standing up from the couch, and taking her jacket off, revealing a nice cold shoulder blouse, which exposes her beautiful shoulders and upper arms to him. It's the first time he gets to see that much of her; the weather has not helped the prior sessions, and even if it's not helping this time, he won't complain at her apparent turmoil.

Robin watches her taking her jacket off, as he pretends to find his pen in a drawer alternating his gaze so that he can check her out from time to time, and, when she turns around so that she can hang her jacket in the hanger, he spots something he'd recognize everywhere.

On her right shoulder blade, he gets to see the tattoo that's been haunting his dreams: a delicate design of a five point-crown in black ink. He thanks God that she is still hanging her jacket and is unaware of the realization that just hit him because he is paralyzed and unable to react. However, even if he can't talk or think about what to say next, his body is the one responding to that revelation and is experiencing some physical effects due to his discovery. He feels his heart begins beating so fast, he's afraid he'll have a heart attack at that moment; the temperature of his body is raising, and he can sense an unbearable heat all over his cheeks. He knows what this means (he's a medical doctor after all): his blood pressure must be in the clouds, at least he's glad he took his daily medication for this condition.

Regina is already seated on the couch (and he didn't even notice) when she realizes something's happening to him, because of the way she asks him "What? ...Is something wrong?"

He doesn't know how to answer to a simple question like that and debates whether to tell her what he just found out or to try to mask his feelings and continue with the session the best way he can. And this second option is a very challenging one because he needs to pretend there's no excitement, or anticipation, or concern, or nervousness, and that's simply too much for him to handle at once.

It's the first time in his life where he doesn't know how to approach a complicated situation, and he has had several ones, considering his field of practice. He decides to go with what his gut tells him.

"Regina ...er ...hmm ...I ...I lied to you," are the only words that come out of his mouth as he watches her expression changing in seconds from one of comfort and relax to one of shock.

"What do you mean? How could you have lied to me? When?" she asks showing surprise.

"Hmm, well, actually I said a half-truth," Robin replies and watches her for any reaction, but she's just looking at him attentively, so he continues "Hmm...at the end of our first session you asked me if I thought we could have met before, and, well, I said that no, that I would never forget meeting you."

He watches her and notes how she tenses. She changes her position on the couch, and for a second he thinks she is going to stand up and leave, but no, she just stands up a little and sits in another position, one which denotes alertness. She's not relaxed anymore, and he curses himself for that, but what worries him most is that he reads fear in her eyes. She remains silent as if waiting for him to continue, and so he does.

"I lied when I told you I didn't think possible we had met before, but I told the truth about being unable to forget you," he finishes and feels lighter after saying those words. However, what doesn't make him feel any better is that it seems he has just passed the weight he carried directly to her.

"Wh ...what do you mean?"

And instead of answering her, he lifts the right sleeve of his shirt, showing her the image of a lion tattoo stamped in black ink in his forearm.

He watches how she opens her eyes in disbelief ….and only hears her say "I …I'm sorry ...I ..." as she stands up and rushes to the door running away from him …briefcase, jacket and session left behind.

* * *

_**To be continued ...**_

_**Any thoughts? **_


End file.
